Monday, 6 February 2012
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Mindfulness & the Menopause: Embracing the Change
I've recently been doing some research into women's experience of menopause, for my forthcoming retreat Embracing the Change: A Mindful Journey through Menopause and I've discovered something that has saddened me.
It seems that for many women this inevitable, and natural, life stage has become a kind of illness for which they're desperately seeking a "cure", whether that cure is HRT or other types of therapy. OK, having been through it myself I can confirm that the menopause brings a whole raft of uncomfortable symptoms - hot flushes, night sweats, disturbed sleep, roller-coaster emotions and so on - but that doesn't mean that we're ill! By far the worst aspect is how we feel about ourselves and what we're experiencing; anxious, depressed, frustrated, stressed... And maybe some of this is exacerbated by the media's treatment of mature women. Rather than embracing the "Wise Woman" role that we would have held in earlier cultures, and celebrating that transition, we're often encouraged to think of ourselves as past our sell-by date - not only grossly untrue, but not exactly great for self esteem!
So how can we make the menopause a more positive experience? Well, self-care certainly plays a key part, and it makes sense to look after our health and manage the symptoms in whatever way feels right for us, but in all likelihood we won't be able to eliminate them, even if we want to. Instead, we need a way of managing our reactions, so that we don't get caught up in a vicious cycle of negative emotions and unhelpful coping strategies (There's a point beyond which staying in bed and eating chocolate ceases to be helpful, believe me, there is!).
Mindfulness can't remove the symptoms of menopause, but it can help us relate to them in a calmer and more compassionate way - and self compassion is a great boost to mental health. Learning these simple techniques to focus our awareness, relax the body and ride out the storm (whether the storm is physical or emotional) can pay great dividends. A research project at the University of Massachusetts found that women with hot flushes & night sweats who learned Mindfulness felt less bothered by their symptoms, less stressed, and slept better than their colleagues who hadn't learned Mindfulness.
Start by just sitting in a comfortable, relaxed position and following the movement of your breath. Every time your mind wanders (which it will, many times...) just notice where it's gone and gently guide it back. Feel your feet in contact with the ground, your backside with the floor or seat. Do this for as long as you like. You can also follow my YouTube clip for a bit of guided Mindfulness practice.
Use this as a time to reflect and ask yourself some important questions about the rest of your life. Who are you now? What do you need to let go? What do you want? What are the benefits and rewards that this life stage might bring, if you let it?
There are lots of ways of approaching these questions. You might try sitting quietly observing the thoughts and feelings that arise as you reflect, or you could allow an image to come to mind that represents the present and future you. You could pick up a pen and start writing or drawing spontaneously as you hold the questions in mind.
You could also come to the retreat and share some good times with other women - but I'll leave that up to you!
Best wishes,
Chris
It seems that for many women this inevitable, and natural, life stage has become a kind of illness for which they're desperately seeking a "cure", whether that cure is HRT or other types of therapy. OK, having been through it myself I can confirm that the menopause brings a whole raft of uncomfortable symptoms - hot flushes, night sweats, disturbed sleep, roller-coaster emotions and so on - but that doesn't mean that we're ill! By far the worst aspect is how we feel about ourselves and what we're experiencing; anxious, depressed, frustrated, stressed... And maybe some of this is exacerbated by the media's treatment of mature women. Rather than embracing the "Wise Woman" role that we would have held in earlier cultures, and celebrating that transition, we're often encouraged to think of ourselves as past our sell-by date - not only grossly untrue, but not exactly great for self esteem!
So how can we make the menopause a more positive experience? Well, self-care certainly plays a key part, and it makes sense to look after our health and manage the symptoms in whatever way feels right for us, but in all likelihood we won't be able to eliminate them, even if we want to. Instead, we need a way of managing our reactions, so that we don't get caught up in a vicious cycle of negative emotions and unhelpful coping strategies (There's a point beyond which staying in bed and eating chocolate ceases to be helpful, believe me, there is!).
Mindfulness can't remove the symptoms of menopause, but it can help us relate to them in a calmer and more compassionate way - and self compassion is a great boost to mental health. Learning these simple techniques to focus our awareness, relax the body and ride out the storm (whether the storm is physical or emotional) can pay great dividends. A research project at the University of Massachusetts found that women with hot flushes & night sweats who learned Mindfulness felt less bothered by their symptoms, less stressed, and slept better than their colleagues who hadn't learned Mindfulness.
Start by just sitting in a comfortable, relaxed position and following the movement of your breath. Every time your mind wanders (which it will, many times...) just notice where it's gone and gently guide it back. Feel your feet in contact with the ground, your backside with the floor or seat. Do this for as long as you like. You can also follow my YouTube clip for a bit of guided Mindfulness practice.
Use this as a time to reflect and ask yourself some important questions about the rest of your life. Who are you now? What do you need to let go? What do you want? What are the benefits and rewards that this life stage might bring, if you let it?
There are lots of ways of approaching these questions. You might try sitting quietly observing the thoughts and feelings that arise as you reflect, or you could allow an image to come to mind that represents the present and future you. You could pick up a pen and start writing or drawing spontaneously as you hold the questions in mind.
You could also come to the retreat and share some good times with other women - but I'll leave that up to you!
Best wishes,
Chris
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